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May 30, 2013 | admin | 0 Comment(s)
By Lauren Tessin, Guest contributor
When it comes to children, they have a mind of their own. Like anyone, they all have different personalities and have had different life experiences to help shape their personality. Although there are many different traits we would like to see our children have, confidence is one of the most important.
Without confidence, life can be tough and seem against you no matter what. However, with a little confidence, we can get farther in life and be a happier individual overall. So, how can you make sure your children has confidence? Continue reading below to find out!
Praise them
When your child does something good, be sure to praise them. From getting an “A” on his or her spelling test to getting an award for being the best classroom helper, praise your child. When you praise your child, they feel good about what they have done, and it will encourage them to repeat that same behavior that got them to be praised.
Encourage them
If your child is feeling less than confident, be sure to encourage him or her. For example, if your child is nervous about his or her exam or riding the bus for the first day of school, encourage them to have confidence. By saying things like, “I know it may seem intimidating, but you will do just fine. What is the worst that can happen?” You are showing that you understand where they are coming from, but also reminding them that they will be fine in whatever they do. Encourage bad thoughts to leave their head and replace those bad thoughts with positive and realistic ones.
Don’t let them give up
Do you find that your child wants to give up easily when it comes to certain things? If so, don’t let them give up. Once you do, you are showing them that it is okay to not try their hardest. You may even give them the signal that they may not be able to do it after all, so they should just quit now. Be persistent and keep pushing your child to his or her goals. Once they see that they can do it on their own, they will remember that next time they struggle with something.
Be a role model
In order for your child to have confidence, you must show how confident you are. For example, next time you’re afraid to do something or you want to knock yourself for not being talented in a certain area, be sure to avoid those thoughts and to display the opposite. By saying things like, “I’m not the best at basketball, but I can try my best to help you practice for today’s game” you can show your child that you are willing to try anything.
As you can see, there are plenty of things you can do in order to increase your child’s confidence. From praising them for their achievements to being a good role model, shaping your child’s personality really does start with you. As a parent, you can help set your child up for failure or success just by how you parent. Parent wisely!
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July 25, 2012 | admin | 0 Comment(s)
Although we sometimes talk about confidence as something that a person “has,” confidence actually involves a very specific set of behaviors.
Identifying these traits as desirable is the first step. Children need a clear set of expectations that they understand are important and know they must follow.
To help them recognize the importance of the goal, these qualities must first be labeled as positive.
Let’s take good posture, for example. In martial arts class the instructor would say, ”Black belts have their backs straight and chests out. You do want to become a black belt, don’t you?”
Or, ”I know you are good looking, so let’s accentuate it!”
Or, even point out the negative: ”When you’re slouching like that your posture looks so weak and I know that’s not case. You are a strong person, so back straight and chest out. Go!”
Stating the issue, explaining its importance and giving children a clear directive will help children understand the link — in this case, that standing up straight makes them project the look of confidence.
July 25, 2012 | admin | 0 Comment(s)
Although we sometimes talk about confidence as something that a person “has,” confidence actually involves a very specific set of behaviors.
Identifying these traits as desirable is the first step. Children need a clear set of expectations that they understand are important and know they must follow.
To help them recognize the importance of the goal, these qualities must first be labeled as positive.
Let’s take good posture, for example. In martial arts class the instructor would say, “Black belts have their backs straight and chests out. You do want to become a black belt, don’t you?”
Or, “I know you are good looking, so let’s accentuate it!”
Or, even point out the negative: “When you’re slouching like that your posture looks so weak and I know that’s not case. You are a strong person, so back straight and chest out. Go!”
Stating the issue, explaining its importance and giving children a clear directive will help children understand the link — in this case, that standing up straight makes them project the look of confidence.
June 18, 2012 | admin | 0 Comment(s)
Although it may be true, as the headline says, that the case of the “cyber sex case stumps parents and has adults grappling with the implications of the New Berlin students duped via computer”, we, as parents, shouldn’t be surprised by such conduct.
What we should be, instead, is prepared to work with our children to keep them safe.
This incident dealing with Internet safety is only the newest assault on our children and, in fact, our safety. The whole incident is about “trust” – how we give it out, how we are betrayed by it, and how we can learn to manage “trust” in order to keep everyone safer.
Law enforcement officers have a saying that “trust is a wonderful thing but that it has no place in law enforcement.” At first this saying may sound extremely jaded, but speaking as a retired law enforcement officer, I have to say that at the point of impact this is the safest way to proceed.
If you don’t know the person and are unsure of the situation, a reasonable degree of distrust is a good place to start. This doesn’t mean that you trust no one, but trust is built over time through a series of interactions where the person that you are dealing with acts trustworthy.
We need to teach our children this fact of life: although you will meet many people over your lifetime that you will develop a trusting relationship with, there are many bad people out there that are untrustworthy and may want to hurt you. By all means, work towards building trusting relationships, but remember that trust is built not born.
People who give their trust away are asking for trouble because there are lots of bad people out there ready and willing to betray your trust. Make sure that the person that you trust is worthy of that trust.
Parents, this should be the lesson that we teach our children. Yes, you should be wary — Stranger Danger — but you should learn to trust people who have proven trustworthy. Parents, let them know that you are a person who is worthy of their trust and that you can be approached as a sounding board for them to use when approached by persons who may be less-than-trustworthy.
June 18, 2012 | admin | 0 Comment(s)
Although it may be true, as the headline says, that the case of the “cyber sex case stumps parents and has adults grappling with the implications of the New Berlin students duped via computer”, we, as parents, shouldn’t be surprised by such conduct.
What we should be, instead, is prepared to work with our children to keep them safe.
This incident dealing with Internet safety is only the newest assault on our children and, in fact, our safety. The whole incident is about “trust” – how we give it out, how we are betrayed by it, and how we can learn to manage “trust” in order to keep everyone safer.
Law enforcement officers have a saying that “trust is a wonderful thing but that it has no place in law enforcement.” At first this saying may sound extremely jaded, but speaking as a retired law enforcement officer, I have to say that at the point of impact this is the safest way to proceed.
If you don’t know the person and are unsure of the situation, a reasonable degree of distrust is a good place to start. This doesn’t mean that you trust no one, but trust is built over time through a series of interactions where the person that you are dealing with acts trustworthy.
We need to teach our children this fact of life: although you will meet many people over your lifetime that you will develop a trusting relationship with, there are many bad people out there that are untrustworthy and may want to hurt you. By all means, work towards building trusting relationships, but remember that trust is built not born.
People who give their trust away are asking for trouble because there are lots of bad people out there ready and willing to betray your trust. Make sure that the person that you trust is worthy of that trust.
Parents, this should be the lesson that we teach our children. Yes, you should be wary — Stranger Danger — but you should learn to trust people who have proven trustworthy. Parents, let them know that you are a person who is worthy of their trust and that you can be approached as a sounding board for them to use when approached by persons who may be less-than-trustworthy.
June 18, 2012 | admin | 0 Comment(s)
No matter what your situation is there are going to be times when your teen and even preteen children are going to be left at home. Sometimes this may be with a babysitter but there will be times when they are just left HOME ALONE. When left alone your children should be “schooled” in some basic safety protocols that include what happens when someone who they don’t know is trying to get into the house and what happens if they are forced for whatever reason to evacuate the house.
Number One: Don’t let unauthorized persons into the house when parents are away. Unauthorized persons are not necessarily strangers. They may be known to the child but not authorized at this time to be in the house. Your child needs to be given the decision making authority and be provided with the confidence to know that their reasonable decision making will not be questioned. No one gets in without the parent being contacted for permission for that person to enter. This means that you or alternative authority figures have to be available to be contacted by the child, if necessary. A fail safe is a call to 911 with the child saying the right phrase – “My name is … I live at … I am HOME ALONE and someone who I don’t know (or is not authorized) is trying to get into my house. Help Me.”
Number Two: What should you child do when s/he is HOME ALONE and someone is forcing there way into your home? It doesn’t work like the HOME ALONE Movie where the child stays and successfully defends his/her home from the home invaders. Although the child could try to hide, escape detection, and remain safe, the reality is that s/he could be discovered and harmed. The best choice for the child, when properly executed, is to follow a preplan evacuation route from the house, get to a pre arranged place of safety, and contact the police along with the parents. This evacuation plan works for home invasions, fires, and other emergencies requiring evacuation from the house.
The safest choice is not to let an unauthorized person into the house and, if necessary, knowing how to get out quickly to a place of safety while contacting the appropriate people. Talk this over with your kids and role play it – walk through these situations in order to put them in context for your children. This is necessary to make sure that they will respond properly under stress rather that freezing up at the point of impact.
Gary Klugiewicz is employed by www.PoliceOne.com as a law enforcement consultant. He is nationally known as law enforcement defensive tactics trainer. Gary works with Dr. George Thompson from the Verbal Judo Institute. He can be contacted at gtklugiewicz@cs.com
June 18, 2012 | admin | 0 Comment(s)
No matter what your situation is there are going to be times when your teen and even preteen children are going to be left at home. Sometimes this may be with a babysitter but there will be times when they are just left HOME ALONE. When left alone your children should be “schooled” in some basic safety protocols that include what happens when someone who they don’t know is trying to get into the house and what happens if they are forced for whatever reason to evacuate the house.
Number One: Don’t let unauthorized persons into the house when parents are away. Unauthorized persons are not necessarily strangers. They may be known to the child but not authorized at this time to be in the house. Your child needs to be given the decision making authority and be provided with the confidence to know that their reasonable decision making will not be questioned. No one gets in without the parent being contacted for permission for that person to enter. This means that you or alternative authority figures have to be available to be contacted by the child, if necessary. A fail safe is a call to 911 with the child saying the right phrase – “My name is … I live at … I am HOME ALONE and someone who I don’t know (or is not authorized) is trying to get into my house. Help Me.”
Number Two: What should you child do when s/he is HOME ALONE and someone is forcing there way into your home? It doesn’t work like the HOME ALONE Movie where the child stays and successfully defends his/her home from the home invaders. Although the child could try to hide, escape detection, and remain safe, the reality is that s/he could be discovered and harmed. The best choice for the child, when properly executed, is to follow a preplan evacuation route from the house, get to a pre arranged place of safety, and contact the police along with the parents. This evacuation plan works for home invasions, fires, and other emergencies requiring evacuation from the house.
The safest choice is not to let an unauthorized person into the house and, if necessary, knowing how to get out quickly to a place of safety while contacting the appropriate people. Talk this over with your kids and role play it – walk through these situations in order to put them in context for your children. This is necessary to make sure that they will respond properly under stress rather that freezing up at the point of impact.
Gary Klugiewicz is employed by www.PoliceOne.com as a law enforcement consultant. He is nationally known as law enforcement defensive tactics trainer. He can be contacted at gtklugiewicz@cs.com
